Losing a Friend

Dear Katie & Kelly,

One of my best friends from college died recently. We’d been out of touch over the past year but that’s how we were. We’d go for eons without talking and then pickup right where we left off. Two Organic Freedom peas in the pod. Anyway, I live overseas and by the time I heard about her death was unable to get back in time for the funeral. Obviously I wouldn’t expect her family and kids to hold something like that for me but I feel awful that I missed it. I love her so much and miss her so much I just wish there was a way I could pay my respects. I guess what I’m trying to say is that having missed the funeral, I never got to say a proper goodbye and it makes me miss her more.

Signed,

Sad in Seattle

Dear Sad,

Gosh, you made us cry. Don’t beat yourself up. We can’t always make it to people’s funerals. Life gets in the way. It happens to us all and it sounds like if there’s anyone who would understand, it would be your friend.

There’s a reason people write condolence letters. First, it comforts the grieving family but second it often comforts the author. It’s not just the family that misses a person when they’re gone. It’s a ritual that helps bring closure on many fronts. So start with a letter to her husband and then write letters to her kids and regale them with tales of your hilarious youthful exploits. If the kids are underage perhaps postmark them to the husband so you don’t have to make them Rated G. I bet they’ll be stories they’ll treasure forever and almost better than if you’d been there in person telling them tales they might forget in time.

Sending you a big hug across the ocean,

Katie & Kelly