Bridal Shower Hosting Traditions Passé?

Dear Katie & Kelly: My mother-in-law to be is insisting on throwing me a bridal shower in her hometown. I told her it was fine but then my mom, a stickler for tradition, told me it most certainly wasn’t okay because family isn’t allowed to throw showers. I already told my MIL it was okay so I don’t want to come back to her and tell her she can’t throw me a shower because of some tradition. Any thoughts on how to please both ladies??

Signed: In a Quandary in Quebec

Dear In a Quandary: Technically your mom, probably a Classic, is correct. It’s seen as unseemly for family members of a bride to essentially be asking for gifts. But it seems to us nobody but Classics and 60-80 year olds follow rules like these anymore. If you’re a Classic and a stickler like Kelly is, see if your MIL can get a friend to serve as a front for the shower — a beard of sorts to mask that your MIL is the real hostess. If you’re not then let it lie and make sure your mom is aware that if a bride is from out of town, it’s traditionally okay for the MIL and a sister or sister-in-law-to-be to throw a bridal shower, especially if the bride is not from their town, because they’re just introducing the bride to people. We’re guessing this was deemed legit because the family members in this scenario are offering a public service — introductions — and not just procuring gifts for you.

Congratulations! K & K