Be Who You Are

We’re often asked which personality type books we like the best. And while we are partial to our own writing, the next best thing would be the Tieger books. They have a range of books, Do What You Are (a great book for work & career) The Art of SpeedReading People (the one we’re featuring here) Just Your Type, (relationships) Nurture by Nature (great for helping raise kids) and The Personality Type Tool Kit (for professionals).

I don’t know whether it’s the two author team, or just that they really get this whole personality type thing and are able to write about it in such an accessible way, but they just do. Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger are our favorites.

I’m particular to the Nurture by Nature book because raising my two kids is my biggest priority right now. There was a particular note of advice for children with my younger daughter’s personality type (Introverted Fun Freedom, ISFP) which said that yes she has a crazy stubborn temper, but that she also has a tendency to retreat very far into herself when she has done something wrong. So, it suggested that when we give her time outs we do so with her in our lap. Yeah. Pretty damn counterintuitive for my loud screaming tantrum throwing boogie, but it worked. It really worked.

The Art of Speedreading People is so helpful when dealing with people who drive you crazy. Unless they have an undiagnosed mental illness it’s usually just a personality type difference and once you know this, it’s like finally being able to see those frustrating 3D graphic prints that were so popular in the 90’s and that were so confounding until all of a sudden you could see the hidden picture, “It’s a bunch of birds flying!” It’s almost the same thing as finally being able to say, “She doesn’t mean to hurt my feelings when she tells me she hates my haircut. She’s simply an ESTJ who has to speak her mind to work stuff out! She just prefers the shorter one and does a lousy job at couching her opinions.” And yes that lovely comment about my hair was from my beloved and dearly departed paternal grandmother. And y’know, I miss her frankness most of all.

Originally published on November 11, 2010.