Cheese Plates Done Right

On the surface, cheese plates seem like an easy, popular appetizer. But, not always. After having a few cheese plates go essentially untouched, I picked up a couple of things (mostly from catered events and cheese courses at fancy restaurants) about how to actually get people to eat it all.

First, let me state the obvious: get a bunch of cool cheeses at Whole Foods or an equivalent local cheese store. Do one super hard (parmigiano, reggiano) one soft (brie, camembert, d’affinois, goat cheese) and a third unadventurous middle of the road (cheddar, gouda) because it’s not like we’re in France, people.

Next, you need one or two accoutrements beyond crackers: Quince paste (or Membrillo), Fig Spread, nuts (not peanuts), chutney, dried fruit, or charcuterie. Here’s a great link to pairings for cheeses from the infamous Murray’s Cheeses. (Oh and Kate wants to name drop here, Mr. Murray was at her wedding) Then get some French bread. There’s just something about cheese on French bread that’s sooo much better than crackers.

While all of this may seem obvious, you’d be surprised how often it is neglected. Even so, my first real trick is (drum roll please) do the hard labor for your guests and pre-slice or chop everything. I know Kraft and other companies offer pre-sliced cheeses but don’t go there, they’re just generic cheeses that taste like blech. Remember I’m a frozen pigs in a blanket girl, so listen to me when I tell you not to skimp here.

With super hard cheeses break off a bunch, ice pick style, into bite sized bites with a knife. For soft cheeses, pre-spread a bunch on some bread. Cut up the French bread into about 1/4-1/2 inch thick slices.

On to the accoutrements. Whatever you put out, make sure you create an example for guests. Show them what goes with what by doing it for them. With the quince paste, slice it into about 1” rectangles and put it next to the cheese. Use this as decoration and then also put some on top of a couple of crackers/slices of bread with the cheese. Ditto for the fig spread. Sprinkle the nuts and dried fruit as decoration (it will be eaten) and voila!  

If you’re in a real hurry, a lot of stuff you have on hand tastes great with cheeses such as jam, honey, raisins etc. Or seriously, just cut up an apple and have it on the plate with the cheese. My friend Andrea did this recently at a play-group and it was a “Duh!” moment for me.