Gals & Ultimatums
Dear Katie & Kelly,
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 7 years and he won’t commit. The trouble is I can’t wait around anymore. I want to have a family and if I wait on him I could lose my chances of having one. My biological clock is ticking! BUT, I don’t want to give him an ultimatum. I fear he might think it’s rude of me to put him in a corner and break up with me and then I’ll be all alone.
I feel like I’m stuck in between a rock and a hard place.
Thanks,
Losin’ It in Louisville
Dear Losin’ It,
You ARE stuck between a rock and a hard place. That sucks. It’s incredibly hard when one half of the equation isn’t sure about what you should equal together. We don’t know your personality type but know that many women — particularly Classic Freedoms, Fun Freedoms and Organics — have trouble with the idea of giving someone an ultimatum. It seems aggressive to many of us. But if you want to get what you want in life, you’ve got to ask for it.
Telling your best friend that you’re ready to get married, you can’t wait anymore, you want that person to be him, you understand if he doesn’t feel the same way, but if that’s the case then you need to go your separate ways isn’t rude. It’s honest. It’s also really thoughtful if indeed he doesn’t feel the same as you. Don’t panic. There are a myriad of scenarios that could result from you asking for what you want.
He could say, “Separate ways!?? No way José. Let’s get hitched, you’re the love of my life” or “I don’t know. I’ve got to think about it for a while.” Then comes back and says, “Let’s get hitched” or your worst fear, “Separate ways. Sign me up!” If it’s the latter (your worst fear), ask yourself why in the hell would you want to wait around for someone who might exit the first time you give him the opportunity? Remember that scenario doesn’t end with you alone forever. You’d be surprised what amazing things can happen in life if you dream and dare.
Good luck and keep us posted!
Katie & Kelly
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