How You Politely Say, “Your Apartment Sucks.”

Dear Katie & Kelly,

My in-laws live in a two bedroom in Florida and want our family to stay with them over the winter holidays to get away and relax. Although it’s a really kind offer, we’re a family of 5 and this place is way too small for all of us. It will not be relaxing. How do I politely decline their offer without hurting their feelings?

Signed,

Dreading Daytona

Dear Dreading,

Well, there are two ways to go about politely declining the offer. Okay, maybe three. First, you lie. You tell them you already have plans. I’d go with this plan if it’s a good lie as in you know telling your in-laws you don’t want to stay with them in their tiny apartment will hurt their feelings. The second way is to tell them the truth: It’s such a kind offer, you would love to see them, it’s just too small of a space for you guys to truly relax, etc… If you think they’d understand the honest approach then I’d go this route for sure. People often smell a lie and you’ve got to keep stories straight. The third option is a hybrid. Accept the offer to visit them but get your own place nearby that you feel is big enough. Obviously this entails being a little truthful about their place. We’re not in college anymore and unless someone has a big pile in the country, technically, you don’t have to stay with them. It’s all about the finesse, say it kindly and any normal person will understand. If they do have a problem with it after you use your best finesse then it’s their problem not yours.

Happy Holidays!

Katie & Kelly