I Am Not Amused

With Amusment parks. Are you? Ugh I just can’t stand how big they are, how full of mindless crowds moving around aimlessly, ruining a perfectly lovely afternoon outside. And then all the lines! Aagh. All for a few EXPENSIVE, back breaking thrills? No thank you.

But lately I’ve discovered some smaller, more kid friendly, and frankly more Katie friendly amusement parks. And I’m sure if you are a slightly agoraphobic like myself you will be more happy here than at the ubiquitous SIX FLAGS.

Last summer on an overcast, but warm day, we took off for the Jersey Shore in search of a easy distraction. And we were not disappointed. In Point Pleasant, NJ, about an hour outside New York City is Jenkinson’s Boardwalk. Its a family friendly, carnival size amusement park, perfect for little kids three and up. There are rides that are too small for big kids and rides that are too big for the little kids. Plus during the day, even on a sunny day, there are no lines because everyone is at the beach. At night all the teenagers descend and its time for us to go home. Perfection.

We went back again this summer. Meredith is a tall five and Dorothy is a tall seven and they both were able to go on all the rides, although Meredith needed a grownup with her for the roller coasters (there are two) and she’s still too small for the bumper cars, and too light for the climbing wall, but that’s it. So there’s lots for everyone.

Last summer we also checked out Memphis Kiddie Park in Brooklyn, OHIO. Yeah, Kelly and I now “summer” in Cleveland, or rather our favorite eastern suburb of Cleveland, and at least for two weeks of it anyway. And it is grand. We didn’t go back this year, because Dorothy, a TALL six year old and just reached the limit for most of the rides, and, frankly, they were a little to small for her. They have one small roller coaster, which we did enjoy, but this year it would have been the only ride she could have gone on so we’ll wait a while, or nephew Teddy (two this year) can go next year without the big girls.

This year we also checked out Idlewild, outside Pittsburgh. God I love that name. Apparently it’s taken from Idalwilde, a Native American Indian word that means “peaceful and savage.” Kind of cool. It took a bit to FIND that definition, and frankly the source is from the back of an Ian Flemming James Bond novel! Regardless, Idlewilde is where this photo is taken from and it is a lovely park. It’s large enough for a whole days’ worth of fun, but not so big that you can’t get easily from one spot to the next.

We went to it because my Uncle Jay is a stilt walker. Y’know those Uncle Sam’s that walk really really tall? That’s my Uncle Jay’s side job. Or maybe more of a passion. He’s been a juggler, and a fool, and a big goof for well, I guess you’d have to ask my mom about that, but when I was a teenager he learned how to juggle and joined a troop of other jugglers and magicians and always has some new trick up his sleeve. So while he worked the park, we enjoyed all the park has to offer.

It’s an old park, like an hundred years or so, and it has grand old pavilions that you can imagine Victorian ladies having picnics under. And lots of tree cover. It has rides that are perfect for kids and rickety adults like myself, plus a kiddie park for the littler ones. It also has a jungle gym area with one of those super long slides you have to use a burlap bag to ride down. SO MUCH FUN!

Idlewild also has a huge water slide park called Supersoak, so bring your bathing suit and if you just can’t stand the heat, run through the sprinklers or jump in the pool. That’s what we did. Meredith and me went down on one of the slides on a double raft. I was more scared than she was.

It’s funny, but but when Meredith, my five year old, asked to go to Six Flags and we told her that it was too big for little kids like her, she paused for a moment and then said, “Well, then why don’t we go to two flags?” We laughed, especially because since we despise the creepy Six Flags commercials with the weird old guy bemoaning “two flag” fun. Give us two flag fun ANY DAY…!