Imposing Structure on Other People

After running PixiesDidIt! with my Organic Freedom sister, Katie, for the past 3+ years, I’ve become acutely aware that my way—structured and in a hurry— isn’t the only way. My main problem was figuring out how to work with the other way before it drove me crazy.

About 2 years ago, Katie asked if we could have a weekly meeting to review what we needed to get done because she felt we didn’t have enough structure at PixiesDidIt and “wanted more of it.” Naturally, I was elated until she forgot about our morning meeting week after week after week. When I finally lost it with her demanding to know how she could ask for a routine, only to continually blow it off, she replied, “I need routine so that I can break it.” I think if I had been 30 years older, I would have had a stroke there and then. My blood still simmers thinking about it.

At the time, I didn’t know what to do because I wasn’t ready to give up on our company but couldn’t figure out how to get her to stick to routines (and reliably remember appointments), so, I gave up. I stopped trying to impose my kind of routine and expected absolutely nothing out of her. I figured this way she could only surprise me on the upside. But a few weeks ago, I realized that once I gave up trying to impose structure, a quasi one sprouted up on its own—just a little more organically than I would have liked.

We have weekly deadlines and schedules that we meet even if all of the procedures are not always followed to the letter (yet). Plus, I have my own routines that keep everything on my end running smoothly. And I know that if I truly want to guarantee that Katie remembers an appointment or task, I have to remind her. And finally, our focus switched from something Katie was lukewarm on (our service business) to something she adores, writing. I often don’t have to remind her to get writing or copy done because she’s done it.

Even though routine is my lifeblood, it’s not everyone’s. No amount of nagging or saber rattling demanding change will actually change them—trust me, I tried with Katie. So if you are like me and find yourself about to lose your mind dealing with a Fun, an Organic Freedom, or a Smart Freedom, I proffer my two secret methods on how to avoid stroking out.

They work amazingly well with REAL deadlines. They can smell fake ones a mile away. Create jobs and roles for them that involve actual, legitimate deadlines. More often than not, they will get it done AT the deadline and not a moment before.

When they’re really jazzed about something, you rarely have to remind them but do it just in case it’s important that there is no chance of missing it.