It’s Personal

Dear Katie & Kelly,

My sister-in-law — who is not always nice to me — was visiting from out of town and didn’t tell me she was in town until the day she was here. I already had plans for my day and couldn’t get together with her. The annoying bit was she mentioned to our mother-in-law how she’d reached out to me for her visit but I wasn’t able to get together. My MIL then tried to make ME feel badly for not making the time. When I told my MIL what happened and how rude it was of my SIL to call me the day she arrived in town, my MIL told me not to take everything so personally. !?!? How is it okay to expect someone to throw out their plans for the day just because they couldn’t be bothered to plan in advance?

Sincerely,

Peeved in Peoria

Dear Peeved,

Phew! Thank god you already had plans for your day because your SIL sounds like a piece of work and your MIL sounds grand as well. To be fair, your SIL could just be a Fun or an Organic Freedom or a Classic with A.D.D. and didn’t think about wanting to see you until the present tense was upon her. OR she could simply be your garden variety bitch. Judging by your letter, we’re guessing she’s the latter and it was personal … but who knows.

Here’s the rub, whether it’s personal or not, taking it personally just upsets you and if she really is a beyatch then upsetting you was probably her end goal. Like a bully. So why bother taking it personally? It’s futile and almost as silly as if the grandpa in the drawing above took it personally that his granddaughter didn’t want to hold his hand. One of the best pieces of advice we’ve ever gotten in our life to is to follow the four tenets below. They help us miss imaginary slights and ignore the real ones. Often when it’s the latter, Kelly just laughs because it’s simultaneously sad and ridiculous of the person to do it in the first place. It almost always means they’re miserable in their life or they’re three years old. If it’s the former, then Kelly just feels sorry for them and moves on her merry way.

1. Don’t take things personally

2. Don’t make assumptions

3. Recognize everyone’s trying to do their best

4. Be impeccable with your word

Try them. They work. Hope the holidays involves the other side of your family this year!

All our best,

Katie & Kelly