Kelly’s Favorite Things: July Edition, Summer Entertaining

Dear Pixies,

It is that time of the month – my favorite time. This is because I get to talk about my favorite things. One of these is summer entertaining. There is literally nothing more enjoyable to me than hosting a summer evening dinner party that includes significant outdoor time. Porches, decks and yards are transformed into magical spaces with twinkling lights. The opportunity to use your beautiful outdoor furniture and those amazing outdoor dishes you have. To mix fantastical drinks and serve fun summer food. The laughter of friends and family are even more alluring during those summer nights as light turns to dark later and fireflies dot the landscape.

Me, I can manage to enjoy the entire affair from planning to clean up and spend plenty of time with my guests. But this is a skill that I have learned over the years and I understand that this is not necessarily easy for everyone. None of us were born perfectly social and perfectly organized and with the complete ability to just relax and enjoy the evening and have everything put away so that the next morning there is no mess to contend with.

There is some part of summer entertaining that is painful for just about every Pixie Type. Hopefully this special version of Kelly’s Favorite Things will help each of you, regardless of your type, to enjoy summer entertaining as much as I do.

Classics: ESTJ, ISTJ, ESFJ, ISFJ

Classic types are going to get everything done, cooked and set up precisely on time and in exactly the right order. Your party will have everything it is supposed to by all accounts – you are confident of this because you will have worked from a list that you found in a Martha Stewart or Southern Living article. In fact, when you step back and examine your handiwork, it will probably look exactly like that picture. This isn’t because you are super artistic or able to design your way out of a hole in the ground, but rather because you know how to organize anything, so you can throw one heck of a dinner party. In fact, after this your friends may be asking you to plan their events.

There are a few things that are important to remember though that will help you enjoy yourself throughout the evening. Yes, there is a schedule and a time you told people to show up and there are things you might have asked them to bring. Yes, you have different courses set to be ready at different times. And yes, you know exactly what time you expect to be cleaning up after everyone goes home. However, unless you invited a whole party of other Classics, your guests are not going to tick to the same clock. If you can be flexible with your expectations of them and enjoy them for who they are then you will have a better time. Also, most other people do not need things to be super duper organized and will not expect it, so it would be very host-like of you to just sit down and enjoy the conversation and leave some of the cleanup for later. Otherwise you will be missing the party.

Funs: ESTP, ISTP, ESFP, ISFP

Entertaining was made for you. Here’s the thing, you are whimsical, easy going, flexible, comfortable in the moment and yet grounded enough that you know what needs to be done and you do it. You may not have perfectly planned everything out to a tee-but your improvisational skills (when you realized this morning that tonight was your party) led to a really fun and funky party worthwhile of mentions for the rest of the summer.

The best part? Your guests had a great time and you enjoyed it with them. Your Classic friends may seem a little off-put by your apparent lack of organization, but let it go – that’s just them. They will likely have arrived exactly on time and if you ask them for help they will hop to. The other guests are just going to love the environment and the hospitality, the conversation and the food. You, as a Fun Type, probably pulled together some sort of amazing spread.

Smarts: ENTJ, INTJ, ENTP, INTP

For you, entertaining is going to require some help, most likely. You can definitely envision the party that you want to throw. It will be the party of the summer – however, you also know that in order to get everything done you need to enlist a planner, a caterer and possibly a decorator. Afterall, not only is it going to be fantastic, but the reality is that you might not have time to get it done with your busy and high powered life if left to your own devices so you need the help. The great news is that it is going to be something special! After all, there is no point in investing the time and the resources if it isn’t. The bad news is that it’s going to be tough to take the time to just relax and let go and enjoy your company.

For you, everyone invited to the party is probably there for a specific purpose and you know exactly what you need to do to interact with each one. Some of your guests will be precisely on time, others will wander in. Some will be formal, others will cut up. This is all just part of having a party. For you to better enjoy this amazing summer evening you have created for them, it will be best if you can really find a way to just let go for this one night and genuinely enjoy the company of your guests. You can get back to business tomorrow. The only variant in this advice is if you happened to invite all other Smarts to the party. In which case this is probably just a business meeting over a catered meal and drinks.

Organics: ENFJ, INFJ, ENFP, INFP

For you, the best possible, and most rewarding, summer entertainment is going to be a party you host that is either a fundraiser for a cause, a potluck, or a “bring a new friend to the group”-type affair that has an impact on the world. These can be fantastic affairs and your guests can have a really great time – but sometimes you have to remember that not everyone feels as deeply about things as you do. This isn’t to say that they are shallow. Maybe not everyone gets the deep why of the idea that you are ditching plastic straws and banning styrofoam – or collecting food and unused items to donate, but they will likely go along with you and be happy they did.

It’s your party. You should be able to let go just a little bit and have fun. Even if the people around you are not on the same page, they are your friends and would not be here supporting you if they didn’t care.