Lamp Chops, Blaine, & Introverts

I’m standing in line at Citarella’s butcher on the Upper West Side two days ago and see a handsome, slightly older man shopping nearby, eventually coming to stand near me at the butcher counter. I notice his profile looks a lot like Andrew McCarthy. Then I overhear him place his order. The voice is unmistakably that of Blaine from Pretty in Pink. I think to myself, “Wow!! Here is little ol’ me from Cleveland, Ohio, buying meat at the same counter as Andrew McCarthy. I have truly arrived.” When I tell my extroverted Classic Freedom (ESFJ) husband about the encounter, he couldn’t believe I didn’t ask him for a photo. Honestly, as an Introvert, it never dawned on me to ask.

It’s not that Introverts don’t introduce themselves to strangers or that Extroverts cannot control themselves from doing so; it’s that it truly never entered my head to even say “Boo” to him, let alone ask him for a photo. We were standing in line at the butchers for goodness sake. What thing of value would I share with this human being? I told this story to an Extrovert friend who said she would never in a million years interrupt a celebrity on an errand in NY. It goes against an unwritten code of ethics New Yorkers have about celebrities. You play it cool. You leave them alone and then when they’re gone you tell everyone you know that you saw So-and-so. Therefore, my addendum to this blog is that eight or nine times out of ten non-NY Extroverts will say something to a celebrity and around the same odds that Introverts will not.

Here’s why I didn’t say something to Mr. McCarthy. As an Introvert, I say something when I have something of value to say whether it’s of value to me or the other person or someone in the room and depending on the situation. If he dropped his groceries, I would have helped him as I would anyone in that situation and exchanged a few words. I might have even said it was a treat to be shopping next to an actor I grew up admiring. Or maybe not depending on how the scene unfolded and whether this sort of comment would fit the situation. Now, if it had been my hero, Margaret Thatcher, at the butcher with me, I would have not only thought about interrupting her errand but likely would have done so to say how much her life’s work inspired me in my own career and life. Talking to her would have been of immense value to me. 

Being Introverted means many things. But, one thing it doesn’t mean is that you’re shy or timid. Most often it simply means you weigh what comes out of your mouth and are frequently surprised by how many Extroverts do not. I’ve been badgered throughout my life by teachers, bosses and many people to be more “extroverted” but I’ve finally come to the point in my life where I can say to these people, “That’s not my style.” It’s not and there’s nothing wrong with admiring someone from afar and not sharing this internal monolog.