Sometimes I run across a piece of advice and I just can’t imagine why ANYONE would do this, let alone why anyone would suggest doing it. And sometimes, bad advice has little to do with personality type and more to do with a magazine trying to fill its pages with content.

So this one from Real Simple: “Make Your Own Candy Hearts” is a bit frightening. “Try creating custom candy: Use a fine grater to sand the messages off Conversation Hearts, then write your own thoughts with a food-coloring marker.” I’m sorry. What?

Please, all you crafters, put the grater down and step away from the hearts, right away. Your mental health depends on it. Y’know what would make more sense? To start making miniature sculptures.

Customized candy Heart Text

Or why don’t you just give them to your sweetie anyway? They’re a fun throwback to a simpler time. Or, as they suggest, you can make virtual hearts like the one on the right at pagepaint. Post them on your Facebook page, or email them to your sweetie.

Or you can be Smart. You can also, possibly in time for Valentine’s day, have a candy heart company customize them for you. Okay. I’ve looked and that doesn’t seem to be something easy to do. You SHOULD be able to buy custom candy hearts, but for right now you’ll have to settle for custom candies or personalized  M&M’s. Yes, thank God Smarts exist in the world for the rest of us to benefit. Possibly you can make it in time for this year.  Now that’s actually simple. A new use for the old thing that is my brain.