Opposites Attack!

Yesterday was about the benefits of friendships with different personality types. Today? How to make these friendships actually happen because man oh man can different personalities clash. YES, even amongst friends. The magic key to making it work is giving each other allowances. Ones you’d rarely ever have to give to your similar personality type brethren. 

For example, with my Fun (SP), Organic Freedom (NFP), and Smart Freedom (NFP) friends I assume there will likely be last minute cancellations to our plans or they might be a bit tardy to a dinner. So with these types of friends, I plan accordingly and always bring reading material. Or let’s say I’m hanging out with friends who are Classic Structure (STJ), Fun Structure (STPs) or Smart Structure (NTJ), I toughen up a bit. I put on a thicker layer of skin and so can take a lot of their comments and observations with a grain of salt. I could take a lot of things they say personally but they don’t usually mean things as harshly as they come out. So I don’t.

If you happen to be on the reverse end of my advice above, read it in reverse. Classic Structures, Fun Structures and Smart Structures, you know that you probably shouldn’t play devil’s advocate as often with your more sensitive friends. And you probably ought to bite your tongue when you have the desire to give someone unsolicited advice or feedback. It doesn’t mean you change who you are to be with them it’s just that you dial it down a notch and flex your non-preferred personality traits. Being sensitive is within your capabilities, it’s just not always your first instinct.

Funs, Organic Freedoms and Smart Freedoms, you know that last minute changes are going to drive your Classic, Organic Structure and Smart Structure friends bat crazy in a way they will rarely annoy you or others like you. So, if you’re ever going to make an effort to be on time or reply to someone quickly, it’s those types of folks where you should expend your efforts. And no matter how many times you tell your friends to take a chill pill, the chances of you actually changing their structured ways are slim to none.