Routines That Aren’t Boring

My Classic (SJ) sister Kelly likes to say that Organic Freedoms (NFPs) like myself, Smart Freedoms (NTPs) and also Funs (SP)s are terrible at keeping routines, but it’s simply not true. Sure I like a day free from any obligations or plans, but the simple fact is, if I didn’t have what Classics like to call “routines” I wouldn’t get anything done. I’m sure Kelly is laughing in disbelief that I have any routines at all, but I do and when I skip them, I start to feel as rootless as she does.

The real problem is with the word routine. Because no matter how it’s actually defined, when I hear routine my brain immediately yells BORING! NO! PLEASE NO and refuses to listen. But all humans, regardless of personality type are creatures of habits, and that is how actual routines have snuck into my life and given it structure and order without me really knowing it. The routines that I keep are habits that I’ve made over the years of things I like to do (say a cup of coffee in the morning), or that will have terrible consequences if I don’t do them (say social services on my doorstep if I don’t take the kids to school). Other things I don’t like to do like cleaning up after the children, doing the dishes, or tidying around the house don’t have such major consequences if they’re not done daily and so I’ve never been able to make them part of my daily routine because I don’t have any desire to do them that often.

But first, let’s talk about the pleasurable “routines.” Drinking a cup of coffee in the morning when I start up my computer? That’s a habit I like and do every day, and it also gets me sitting in front of the computer ready to work. Because I’ve connected that cup of coffee with work I like to do, I tend to get stuff done. When I don’t have that cup of coffee in the morning, I have grave physical consequences around 3pm (caffeine withdrawal) and I don’t end up getting much done as I seriously forget to open my computer without my cup of joe. Connecting something that is already habitual and enjoyable to something else I want to get done is actually the best way for me to sneak in a new “routine”. If the addition is something I like to do, then it will generally become as routine as the first thing without me even thinking about it. This is best for my type as it also doesn’t feel routine even if it is.

The problem is there is plenty I don’t like to do, and so often, when I try to attach a boring task — like cleaning up the kitchen — to another boring task — like getting the kids off to school — this new “routine” might last a couple of weeks, maybe even a month or so, but if I hate to do it and there are no grave consequences to me not doing it then I don’t tend to stick with it. I’m 43 years old and the only annoying routines I have kept over the years are either the ones I like, or the ones that will cause me pain, embarrassment or loss of money if I don’t do them.  Money, vanity, and pain. Those are my main motivators for action of any kind. Everything else gets relegated to Calvin’s last minute panic.

So if you are an Organic Freedom (NFP) or Smart Freedom (NTP) who has been trying their whole life to create routines for things you hate doing and are always failing, just stop trying. Spend your energy creating routines for things you like to do and use deadlines or panic for the other stuff. A couple of years ago, I had a daily boring routine that I paired with a pleasurable one and the results were fantastic. At the time, I had to take my three year old daughter to pre-school 1/2 hour away and it only lasted for two 1/2 hours, so basically I took her to school and waited outside for two hours to pick her up. With my personality type it would have been easy to find ways to literally waste the time, but writing is enjoyable for me and having that limited but good chunk of time, was just the amount of structure I needed to finish my novel.

Funs (SPs) are different about routine than Organic Freedoms and Smart Freedoms. They might not like to clean the dishes or do the laundry but they do it more often and usually without thinking about it. They take care of these dreary chores automatically. I don’t think they even think of them as part of their routine. It’s just what one does. You see a mess you clean it. Period. And frankly, as I write this my Smart Freedom (NTP) husband is loading the dishwasher, so it’s bugging him into a mild panic way before it is me. It always does as his logic believes that if you don’t load the dishwasher daily you will have an immediate infestation of bugs, whereas my subjective brain hasn’t actually experienced this to be true. (And while the dishes are in the dishwasher, I’m the one who goes in later and puts all the cereal boxes and other supplies away. That’s what bugs me into a mild panic action.)

So. The moral is if you love the word routine, then have at it. Create your routines, stick to them and you and your Classic ways will make you a happier and more organized person. Or if you’re a Fun just take care of things when you take care of them. But if the word routine terrifies and disgusts you then think of it more as something pleasurable you tend to do often and regularly. A positive habitual behavior. Use it to create structure in your life by adding on other pleasurable things. And on the flip side, if there’s something undesirable that you have to do every day, create structure by tagging on something pleasurable to the annoying routine. It will help put a positive spin on an otherwise dreary or burdensome chore.

But stuff you hate to do? Let the last minute panic become your routine when it has to.