In Praise of Unscheduled Time

Apparently there is such a thing as too much structure. Who knew? Oh right, almost every personality type BUT a Classic like me. Routines, advance plans? Yes please! I love structure and routine. I surreptitiously impose it with everything I do. I eat the same breakfast for months on end, order the same thing repeatedly at my favorite restaurants, set up recurring appointments for the same time each week, exercise on the same days each week, yadda, yadda, yadda. In short, I’m highly scheduled and I love it. Only I’m starting to realize that my schedules (pronounced as if I were British so “Shedjewel”) often keep me from having actual fun.

Why do I adore routine? When I have it, I’m on time, I rarely miss appointments or double book, and get all sorts of things done. I’m superman and on top of the world. When I don’t have it? It’s as if I tumbled down a flight of stairs. I’m a bumbling idiot staring at the fridge wondering what to eat for breakfast whilst I miss appointments, double book, work through meetings, and forget the gym exists. Naturally, you can see why vast amounts of unstructured time make this button upped superman nervous and why I reflexively fill it.

Flash forward to this summer and my 23-month old son, Ted, whom I subject to “only in Manhattan” level of toddler activities, not one but three mommy & me classes. I usually love it but with working part time in addition to taking Ted to his plethora of classes, I longed for a break. So, this summer, I decided to throw my To-Do checklist to wind and do no classes. Instead, I’d do playdates with other moms, head to the sprinklers in the playground and dare I say it? … run barefoot in the park. A fun carefree summer.

No sooner had I made this decision than one of my friend’s, Amanda told me about this great bi-weekly month long summer class that might give Ted a leg-up when applying to pre-school. As I’d already begun biting my nails about my hedonistic decision, I signed up.

Two weeks in and I’m wallowing in regret. Don’t get me wrong. The class is great. I love seeing Amanda and her daughter twice a week. But, a class is still a class. Ted doesn’t pay attention to the teachers AT ALL—unless you count reading in the corner while the entire class sings songs. It would have been leagues more fun to hang out with Amanda on our own time for free.

I can’t tell you how many fabulous invites we’ve missed because of this class. Last week, I could have been poolside in Bronxville at my friend’s club. Nope stuck in class playing with floam and convincing Ted not to eat it—don’t ask me what it is, I’ve no idea other than the fact that it looks like a cross between plastic foam insulation and rice krispy treats. And there’s the lesson for people like me, sometimes we must trust that life always throw bonus plans in the mix at the last minute. Leaving a little time unscheduled allows us to take advantage of them. This is a no-brainer for Funs, Organic Freedoms and Smart Freedoms but it’s a tough thing to compute for people like me.

This fall, I’ve decided to compromise. Two classes max and who cares if Ted gets into preschool. I’m hoping in doing so, I’ll open myself up to more lovely unexpected invites. Or you’ll read a blog bitching about what a waste unscheduled time is.